At AAC, our team is here to talk with you about getting started with addiction treatment. We can help you understand how to use health insurance coverage for rehab, how to find the right facility for your needs and more. Completing Step 9 of AA is a highly personal process that can look different for everyone. It is important to take your time and be intentional with your actions while working this Step. I also realized that in my childhood, that I had blamed my Dad for things my Mom actually caused by trying to get him to stop drinking.
How to Find a 12-Step AA Program
- Even though they have similarities, living amends are different than making amends.
- Step 9 of AA’s 12-step program directs people in recovery to take accountability for actions that may have harmed others and to make amends when possible.
- How blessed we are to become free from our past, and given the gift to help free another.
- American Addiction Centers (AAC) is committed to delivering original, truthful, accurate, unbiased, and medically current information.
How blessed we are to become free from our past, and given the gift to help free another. I tend to hide the memory of past transgressions under the ever-handy umbrella of “Didn’t do it if I don’t remember”. Since I spent years in a boozy haze all sorts of hurts were ignored.
The Ninth Step: When To Do So Would Cause Harm
Recovery support groups and individual therapy can help you if you are struggling to make amends or accept the responses of others. A sponsor or therapist can help you talk through your choices, determine the best course of action for making amends, and consider how your actions may affect others as you seek to make amends. Living amends look different for everyone, depending on the specific negative behavior patterns you have identified while working the 12 Steps.
Renewal Center for Ongoing Recovery
Undoubtedly, you, too, have a list of ways in which you want to live out your living amends, and that’s great! The more personalized your lifestyle changes are, the more they’re going to resonate and stick with you. It’s really hard to apologize to those you’ve hurt — it takes courage and humility and requires a deep, intense look at yourself. Thankfully, there are tips you can take to help make your living amends permanent and lasting.
- Our Eighth Step list was our practical preparation for working Step Nine.
- Even simply searching “AA meetings near me” in your web browser can pull up state or local websites with lists of various nearby meetings.
- We can help you understand how to use health insurance coverage for rehab, how to find the right facility for your needs and more.
- We become aware that since we usually mean well, we can extend that belief to others.
- An accountability partner can play a significant role in this process.
The Twelve Steps
- Remember, you’re making amends for your actions, not their response.
- A qualified behavioral therapist can help you identify the areas of your life that need attention.
- Your goal is not just to stop drinking, but also to change from the inside out.
- This lets them know that you are sincerely sorry for your behavior and any pain that you’ve caused them.
- Many alcoholics are guided through the steps by a sponsor, but some individuals complete the steps on their own.
By practicing these spiritual principles we can break those chains and achieve the freedom from our addiction that we have yearned for. Humility is the freedom from pride or arrogance and having the quality or state of being humble. In the Ninth Step, we will focus on the spiritual principles of humility, forgiveness and love.
How Step 9 of AA Fits Into Your Recovery Journey
We strive to create content that is clear, concise, and easy to understand. Don’t letting putting off making an apology or paying a debt you owe become a bigger problem in the future that could cause you to pick up a drink. Making amends may seem like a bitter pill to swallow, but for those serious about recovery, it can be good medicine for the spirit and the soul. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Instead of making direct contact, you might write a heartfelt letter expressing your remorse and then choose not to send it. Or, you might dedicate yourself to acts of kindness or service, reflecting your changed nature and commitment to not repeat past mistakes. Step 8 encourages us to make a list of those we’ve harmed — step 9 is when we follow through with those on our list.
It’s a process that seeks to repair the damage of the past and fosters stronger, more resilient relationships for the future. Here, we strive to undo the damage we may have caused to the best of our ability, with respect for the feelings and well-being of those we’ve affected. Step 9 encourages a deep dive into self-forgiveness, a significant step toward personal healing. This Step includes an important caveat for members – carefully examine if the full revelation of the situation would cause harm to the one amends are living amends being made to. It’s also important to take great care when making amends to someone who is in active addiction because our primary responsibility is to safeguard our own health and recovery from substance abuse.
If you attend 12 Step meetings, work on each step consistently and go over them with your sponsor. Create some goals for yourself and work towards them regularly. As you grow in your own life, rebuilding bridges that have been burned will become easier. After we have put some time between us and our last debacles, we can revisit those amends and go into details about each event, only after we have run it by an experienced and trusted advisor. To learn more about addiction recovery, including AA, reach out to Silver Mist Recovery. Join the Sober Sidekick community today, a place where your experiences are valued, your efforts recognized, and your resilience celebrated.